Spanking Communicates Authority II

In “Spanking Communicates Authority Part I”, we considered the possibility that spanking is a physical form of communication between a husband and a wife. How does the husband spanking his wife’s bare bottom translate into marital communication?

In the traditional marriage, the husband assumes the role of the leader responsible for his marriage and his home. He accepts the authority that comes with the leadership role, and is expected to exercise his authority as the leader. The wife’s role is that of the submissive partner. She chooses to submit to her husband’s authority. She is not worth less as a person, because she submits in marriage. She simply has a different role than her husband has and has taken up the challenge of letting her husband lead.

Many couples start their journey into marriage fully intending to assume their traditional marriage roles. Before too long, they learn that it is difficult and exhausting at times to exercise authority or submit, especially when you don’t feel like doing it. The inconsistency in staying true to the traditional roles causes tensions to develop in the marriage. It does not take long for the build up of tension to challenge the peace in the home and damage the confidence that the couple initially had in the power of traditional marriage roles. The partners may try to remain “in character” through their choice of words, but the constant bickering and relentless arguing will eventually merge their distinct roles into matched generic, neutered roles.

You may be thinking that was a nice collection of sentences, but it doesn’t explain how a spanking can help avoid this disintegration of a marriage. How does a spanking achieve what words cannot?

When a husband defends his words of authority with an act of authority, he emphasizes his authority. Why is that important? The wife’s genuine respect for her husband finds its foundation in her recognition of his authority. A wife who does not truly recognize her husband’s authority in the relationship will not offer heart-felt respect as her gift to him. The more she respects her husband, the easier it becomes for her to submit to him. When a husband boldly spanks his wife, he is reminding her that he has authority over her. The act of spanking is less about punishing or inflicting pain on his wife, and more about communicating his authority over her.