The Inconvenience of Marital Spanking

Spanking your wife may sound like a glamorous and sexy activity, but that is probably because you have  been watching movies you should have avoided. Spanking as a purely sensual or sexual experience could give you goosebumps, a rush of sensation, and a flash of Hollywood glamour, but that's only a small part of what marital spanking involves. Marital spanking is hard work: for the husband and the wife. The excerpt below (from the Prologue of "Fresh Produce" by Arend van Loggeren) highlights a couple of the "less than convenient" elements of a traditional marriage that incorporates domestic discipline, and specifically marital spanking.

 

Highlight #1: When a spanking is necessary, it must be administered even when it is uncomfortable for the husband and/or the wife. Necessary spanking is seldom sexy and fun.

 

Highlight #2: The husband and wife debate and discuss issues, but it is the husband who bears the ultimate responsibility for making decisions in the home. The wife is responsible for submitting to his authority even when she disagrees with his decision.

 

Highlight #3: The marriage is not a democracy and equality is never an issue, even when society says it should be.

"A traditional marriage may seem too old-fashioned for most couples, but Luke and Ellen are not the kind of people to be swayed by the fashion of the day. The traditional approach worked for their parents and grandparents, and as far as Luke and Ellen can tell, there is no reason to change something that works well.

Luke's  role as head of the household is never taken lightly. With equal enthusiasm, Ellen works hard at transforming herself into the submissive wife. In theory, they have the perfect relationship: distinct roles with clear boundaries and well defined expectations of each other. Unfortunately, the perfect theoretical harmony of their old-fashioned marriage sometimes falls prey to the damaging influences of modern life. When that happens, it's time for an old-fashioned remedy.

Luke is a man of action and responds quickly to any external influence that threatens the integrity of their marriage. As natural leader,  he doesn't hesitate to rise to the challenge of being the head of his household. When action must be taken, Luke readily puts his own comfort second. Duty always comes first. Unfortunately for Ellen, the action that is called for often takes the form of old-fashioned discipline.

Ellen is a quick-thinking, intelligent woman. While not quite Luke's equal as a natural leader, she can more than hold her own and comes a close second. Her tendency to grab the reins and issue orders is a constant source of friction in their marriage. Luke is not a man who will be ordered around by his wife, no matter how competent she is as a leader. Ellen has been reminded of this the hard way, many times over.

Despite her apparent battle with submission, Ellen's heart is in the right place. She loves her husband, values her marriage, and takes her marriage vows seriously. When she promised to respect and obey her husband, she meant it. What she didn't realize was how difficult it would be to keep her word and at the same time live in a world which has trained her to resist submission.

Luke readily acknowledges his wife's myriad of talents and capacity to lead. He does not, however, allow her to overstep her boundaries and encroach on his territory as home leader. When Ellen deviates from her role as submissive wife, Luke deals with the disobedience or disrespect in an appropriate manner.

While they enjoy open debate as a modern couple, Luke's decisions within the home and family are not debatable. The marriage is not a democracy, even when it encourages deep and intimate sharing by both parties. Not all issues are subject to a vote. While they have agreed to a traditional marriage, the way Luke chooses to deal with Ellen's challenges to his authority are solely his decision. Needless to say, Luke and Ellen do not always agree on the best course of action for Luke to take.

In Luke and Ellen's marriage, as with most traditional marriages, the husband is the ruler of the home. He is the king of his kingdom, and his wife is his beautiful queen. The wife acknowledges her husband's authority and submits to it. The roles of the husband and wife are never duplicated. The concept of equality is irrelevant when the husband and wife have different functions in the marriage.

Can such an old-fashioned view of marriage find a place in a society that thrives on the ideal of fairness, and which labels husbands who understand and exercise their authority as chauvinists? Can tough, intelligent, confident women also be submissive wives, or will they choose to please society's low standards and demand to duplicate their husbands' roles in the relationship?"

This excerpt is reprinted  from "Fresh Produce" and shared here with the permission of the author, Arend van Loggeren. "Fresh Produce" is one of Arend van Loggeren's fictional explorations of traditional marriage and the role of domestic discipline within the marriage. It follows the adventures of a successful and modern couple, Luke and Ellen Trader. The Traders are committed to making their marriage work, but they quickly discover that commitment does not excuse them from conflict. Like many other couples, they battle their way through domestic conflicts, try out different solutions, compromise and make adjustments. They make mistakes, and they correct those mistakes. Their marriage is not perfect, but it is working, perhaps better than many less traditional marriages. And of course, their marriage incorporates marital spanking.