Spanking is a way for a husband to communicate his authority
in the marriage. When he spanks his wife, he is giving her a physical reminder
of his role as head of his home. But what about the wife? If spanking is a
powerful form of physical communication, should we think about it as a
monologue? Is the husband the only one who is doing the “talking”?
The act of a husband spanking his wife is not a one-way form
of communication. Yes, the husband’s hand smacking his wife’s bottom is a
wordless statement of his authority in the marriage, but is it more than that.
In submitting to, and accepting, the spanking her husband offers, the wife is
emphasizing her acceptance of her submissive role in the marriage. Speak to any
wife that is spanked in a loving marriage and you will learn that she does not submit
to the spanking out of fear. The relationship is not one of a master whipping
his slave. The wife who is loved by her husband may hate the spanking, but she
will not fear her husband.
Why then, you may ask, does she let her husband lay his hand
on her? The quick answer is that the spanking is her gift to her husband, as
much as it is his gift to her. Remember that by spanking his wife, the husband
emphasizes his authority and make his wife’s challenge (to be submissive to
him) a little easier to face. When the husband’s authority is emphasized, it
calls out her submission. By taking up the challenge of exercising his
authority, the husband is creating an environment that encourages submission in
his wife. By offering herself to her husband and not resisting the way he
chooses to exercise his authority, the wife encourages the husband to assume
responsibility as leader. Her physical act of submission in presenting her
bottom to the spanking serves as a bold statement of her submission to her
husband. The husband’s recognition of submission in his wife feeds his own
confidence as leader. By accepting a spanking without resistance, a wife is
giving her husband the gift of her surrender to him.
Spanking in marriage is not a monologue. It is the husband
acting out his authority to encourage submission in his wife. It is also the
wife acting out her submission in order to encourage bold leadership in her
husband. Is marital spanking or domestic discipline a barbaric act of spousal
abuse or a small price to pay for a healthy marriage? You decide.
When I spank my wife, it helps remind us both that I should be less of a closet leader in the home. When my wife earns a spanking, its almost always because I slacked off on bold leadership, so its not about punishing her. It's about reminding both of us that we need to do what we vowed to do.
ReplyDeleteGood point, Rob1219. Many husbands are not firm leaders and it is easy for their wives to drift away from a state of submission from time to time. A spanking is a good way to remind both partners of their responsibilities in the marriage.
Deletehi everyone. i am new to this site. my husband has used spanking as a means of 'correcting' my misbehavior for about 10 years now. it's only helped our marriage for the most part. in fact, i am actually the one who showed him some info found on the subject (DD site) years ago..and since ive always 'wanted and felt i needed' to be spanked in order to truly get my attention, it was and has always been consensual. i think that is key. since (unfortunately) many woman feel its some sort of abuse.. to the contrary it has truly enhanced our entire relationship. i do feel, though, unless consensual then it could be disaster for some couples. personally, though, when i'm 'over the top' and can't control my emotions, when he pulls me in an d over the knee or which ever way he chooses to.. it immediately snaps me back into reality lol so to speak and in a way that makes me WANT to submit (say rather than argument) however i dont believe couples should REPLACE spanking with discussions and problems. but in our case it certainly has been beneficial. my husband has always been dominant male but not bully. he knows when i need to be spanked and senses its need at just the right time. (maybe not always at the best place!) to my embarrasement ! lol but i think most wives are blushing when their husband takes them in hand and firmly but lovingly deals with needs to be dealt with. i also believe that there is no deeper love as each feels when engaging in this lifestyle.
ReplyDeletesuzie =:-o
Thanks for sharing, SassySuzie. Welcome to Old Fashioned Marriage! It sounds like you and your husband are growing strong in your marital roles. I agree - when we embrace our roles as husband or wife, it encourages love to grow to a deeper level. We look forward to hearing more from you.
DeleteI used to resent being spanked, and would show it by acting out. Rolling my eyes,a sarcastic expression, some smart comment murmured under my breath. Probably the wrong sort of dialogue, if you honestly believe that discipline shouldn't be one way communication. When you pull your pants back up nothing was really resolved even if i did ensure up in tearsi did end up tears After discussing my attitude issues with Knute, i agreed to try it his way a few times. What's his way? No talking except possibly to answer a question with "yes sir or no sir"; polite expression and tone of voice at all times. And of course getting my pants off immediately when told. That's all. No rocket science involved. And i have to admit things go much better now. Neither of us is left with the feeling afterward that it wasn't "finished" when he gave me permission to pull them back up. I still disagree - mentally, silently, with about 1/3 of my spankings at the start. I don't think that will ever change. But remaining polite and immediately following instructions has carried over into my general attitude toward him, and 90% of the little things i used to brood about in our relationship are off the table. My contribution to the dialogue of spanking is no longer "talking back" silently. I accept his decision as final and avoid making it a challenge to his role as head of household.
ReplyDeleteI used to resent being spanked, and would show it by acting out. Rolling my eyes,a sarcastic expression, some smart comment murmured under my breath. Probably the wrong sort of dialogue, if you honestly believe that discipline shouldn't be one way communication. When you pull your pants back up nothing was really resolved even if i did ensure up in tearsi did end up tears After discussing my attitude issues with Knute, i agreed to try it his way a few times. What's his way? No talking except possibly to answer a question with "yes sir or no sir"; polite expression and tone of voice at all times. And of course getting my pants off immediately when told. That's all. No rocket science involved. And i have to admit things go much better now. Neither of us is left with the feeling afterward that it wasn't "finished" when he gave me permission to pull them back up. I still disagree - mentally, silently, with about 1/3 of my spankings at the start. I don't think that will ever change. But remaining polite and immediately following instructions has carried over into my general attitude toward him, and 90% of the little things i used to brood about in our relationship are off the table. My contribution to the dialogue of spanking is no longer "talking back" silently. I accept his decision as final and avoid making it a challenge to his role as head of household.
ReplyDeleteI used to resent being spanked, and would show it by acting out. Rolling my eyes,a sarcastic expression, some smart comment murmured under my breath. Probably the wrong sort of dialogue, if you honestly believe that discipline shouldn't be one way communication. When you pull your pants back up nothing was really resolved even if i did ensure up in tearsi did end up tears After discussing my attitude issues with Knute, i agreed to try it his way a few times. What's his way? No talking except possibly to answer a question with "yes sir or no sir"; polite expression and tone of voice at all times. And of course getting my pants off immediately when told. That's all. No rocket science involved. And i have to admit things go much better now. Neither of us is left with the feeling afterward that it wasn't "finished" when he gave me permission to pull them back up. I still disagree - mentally, silently, with about 1/3 of my spankings at the start. I don't think that will ever change. But remaining polite and immediately following instructions has carried over into my general attitude toward him, and 90% of the little things i used to brood about in our relationship are off the table. My contribution to the dialogue of spanking is no longer "talking back" silently. I accept his decision as final and avoid making it a challenge to his role as head of household.
ReplyDeleteI don't know. I find this all too serious. For me spanking is just erotic and my wife does it to me. I'm not a submissive or anything like that but it sure is erotic.
ReplyDeleteDecades ago, as my wife stood naked before me before submitting to a paddling, I asked her why women don't run from a promised spanking. Her very concise answer was a woman is feels more secure when a man takes control of her life.
ReplyDeleteMy wife also said spanking works best when it is accompanied by dialogue. Among the other things I discovered was my lap served as my wife's confessional booth. During the first few years of our marriage, she revealed every dark secret lurking in her soul. It was as if taking off her clothes she also pulled back the veil of her feminine mystique.
By listening to my wife, instead of merely imposing my will on her, I was able to help her get rid of a lot of mental garbage had accumulated from her youth. Among my wife's biggest psychological dumps was her good girl facade. Much of it had been pure pretense.
Being paddled, and sometimes whipped, likewise forced my wife to look more deeply into her inner being than had been otherwise possible. Quite literally, her anguish and tears cleaned her out.