19 September 2012

The Modern Woodshed

According to the Urban Dictionary, the "woodshed" is an allusion to being corporally punished, where the victim would be sent to the woodshed to await his punisher. The woodshed was a popular location, because it was remote from the rest of the home (affording the punished a little privacy), and there was abundant material there for fashioning a paddle or a switch. The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines the woodshed as a place, means, or session for administering discipline.
 
Woodsheds are not too abundant in modern cities and towns that are powered by electricity and gas. Not many city dwellers have even see an old fashioned woodshed complete with wood piles, a wooden workbench, and a saw horse or two. The proverbial "trip to the woodshed" is now an archaic term. Should it be? Should a "trip to the woodshed" be an almost forgotten part of our history, or does it still have a place in an old fashioned modern marriage?
 
A husband that takes a firm lead will inevitably have to draw the line or lay down some home rules for his wife. If she crosses the line in disobedience or defiance, it falls on the husband to do what is necessary to restore respect for his authority and those rules. While a punishment administered by the husband may occur very rarely, the necessity for it from time to time cannot be overlooked. In the absence of a physical shed in the backyard, what is a husband to use as the "woodshed" and why should he even bother to have one?
 
Having a defined place for a punishment spanking to take place can help both the husband and wife prepare for the punishment.
 
Facing a punishment spanking that he must administer is intimidating for any husband who is relatively new to marital spanking. He may be torn between knowing he must do what he promised to do, and his sincere dislike for causing his wife any pain. On a head level, he may know that a short period of pain now may help his wife become more submissive and respectful in the long term, but that doesn't make it any easier to be the one to provide his wife with the painful experience. The husband may feel his confidence wavering, suddenly aware that his wife may vehemently resist his attempt to punish her. He may feel ill-equipped to handle that kind of resistance given his experience, especially if he is already tempted to avoid the punishment. He may be teetering on the edge of backing down and giving in to the urge to cancel the punishment. He may be considering all the reasons he isn't good enough to be judging and finding his wife guilty of wrong-doing. He may be battling a deep sense of hypocrisy for even entertaining the thought of punishing his beautiful bride.
 
It not only the husband who finds the countdown to a punishment to be an extremely uncomfortable time. Facing a punishment spanking is a frightening experience for the wife. She will be battling different emotions and may find it hard to focus on how the discipline will enrich her marriage. There may be the fear of the pain she is about to experience.  If never punished before, the wife may be terrified of the unknown. Disappointment in herself for letting her husband down may battle for the wife's attention. She may feel guilt over what she did to deserve the punishment. She may be angry with herself for her mistake, or angry with her husband for being prepared to punish her. She may be dwelling on how unfair it is for her  husband to discipline her, when he is far from perfect himself. The resentment this causes may be welling up within her with some considerable force. She may find herself reliving the memory of her mistake over and over again. She may be struggling to even consider surrendering to the punishment - submission may be the last thing she wants to offer her husband. She may even be trying to think up counter-arguments that she can use to talk her husband out of punishing her.
 
How can having a "woodshed", a designated place to give and receive a punishment spanking, help to prepare the husband and the wife for a very unpleasant, but necessary, experience?
 
A "woodshed" gives the husband a place to send his wife to when it is decided that a punishment spanking is necessary. In many ways, having this fixed destination makes the matter final. Once the wife is sent to the "woodshed", the option to back out of the punishment is removed for both partners, and with it much of the anxiety that goes with indecision. If the wife enters the "woodshed" ahead of her husband, she will have some time alone to focus her thoughts knowing she doesn't have to invest any effort into trying to avoid the punishment. The husband can use the same time on his own to plan the punishment. While there is a place for spontaneity in the process, planning the punishment spanking will help boost the husband's confidence.
 
What kind of "woodsheds" do modern couples have access to?
 
For many couples, the "woodshed" is their bedroom. For some, though, the thought of using the bedroom for punishments seems wrong. Their concerns seem to center on the fact that using the bedroom for such an unpleasant and painful experience may have a negative effect on their perception of the bedroom as place of peaceful rest and pleasurable intimacy. These couples may choose a study, home office, or den as their "woodshed". The bathroom, already subconsciously associated with privacy and the cleansing process, is also a favorite. Particularly for couples with children, an outbuilding or garage works well. Those fortunate enough to have a property with substantial grounds and plenty of privacy may choose a particular spot in the garden to serve as their open-air "woodshed". 
 
If a couple has chosen an old fashioned marriage, then a "woodshed", which helps to take a lot of unnecessary anxiety out of the punishment process, should be decided on. Irrespective of whether the husband chooses the "woodshed" or the couple decides on the venue as a team, the "woodshed" should be chosen before any punishment is ever necessary. Knowing that a  "woodshed" exists is a good reminder for both husband and wife that punishment spankings are not fairytale threats, but a real possibility. Having this sense of certainty can encourage both husband and wife to take their marital roles seriously and avoid the "trip to the woodshed" at all costs.

14 comments:

  1. Our woodshed is our bedroom. At first I wondered how I felt about that, but now I appreciate it, because I am comfortable there. I think the HoH sets the mood, and the place (as long as it is private) is not really all that important.
    It is the one on one time together that decides if it will be an experience that helps or hinders.
    Just my opinion.

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    1. Thanks for sharing your opinion, Lillie/Ian. Feeling comfortable is certainly a big part of benefiting from a discipline session, and the couple's bedroom will probably always be the most popular modern "woodshed".

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  2. I agree with Lillie. I'd also say that using the bedroom rather than making other intimacies uncomfortable, or ill-associated, can bring a reminder to the correction that everything comes from a place of love and desire for honesty and intimacy.

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    1. Your comment is very insightful, June. Yes, the bedroom is a great reminder that love must saturate the act of correction. Thanks for sharing.

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  3. Yes, when my husband punishs me, if is done in love, so we have no problem with doing a punishment in our bedroom, or in any other room for that matter. We have never picked one specific place to punish, though. Maybe I will show my husband this article and see what he thinks about selecting our own "woodshed".

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    1. Thanks for reiterating that love is central to domestic discipline, Jenna. Certainly do encourage your husband to explore new aspects of your relationship with you - reading stimulating articles together is a great way to encourage discussions that might otherwise be a little awkward.

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  4. Our woodshed is our bedroom too. I can understand why some would chose to use a different location though. To me, spanking is an incredibly intimate, and yes, even loving act. Our bedroom seems the perfect place for such an act.

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    1. Thanks for sharing your "woodshed", Cowgirl. Yes, the bedroom remains the most popular modern "woodshed" - a safe place to focus on all facets (even the uncomfortable, painful ones) of the marriage.

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  5. I usually send my wife to our room if the situation calls for more than a quick, sharp slaps to her fanny right there on the spot. If I am angry, I cool off first before I join her. I agree that the time alone gives us both a chance to get our thinking straight so we don't just go through the motions or react emotionally. Nothing is gained (except a sore hand and a very sore bottom) if the spanking isn't accompanied by understanding of what went wrong, and that takes a little time alone with a clear head.

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    1. Thanks for sharing your experience, Vincent. Understanding is certainly a vital element in effective correction.

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  6. Anonymous21/9/12 16:17

    I know a lot has been going around about "routines". We currently don't have a routine but the place of correction is our closet. I think a lot can be said with each spouse having time to wrap their minds around the infraction and correction to come. Very thought provoking post. Thank you, Lucy

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    1. Thanks for your comment and for sharing your "woodshed", Lucy. The closet sounds like a good idea.

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  7. sixofthebest17/2/13 09:06

    Right on about a Woodshed, be it in an urban (city) area. Or suburban (country )area. A place must be set aside, so that a husband can corporal punish his wife if she is need of one.

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    1. Thanks for sharing your viewpoint, Sixofthebest.

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