14 September 2012

Ten Reasons to Fear the Label of Submissive Wife

Have you ever been called names? Has anyone ever labelled you with a negative tag? Sadly, many women dread the label of "submissive wife". Instead of being a worthy badge of honor that all wives should strive to claim as their own, this label has become feared. Why do so many women run from the challenge of submitting to their husbands? Many proudly proclaim that they will NEVER allow their husbands to tell them what to do, or permit the husbands to make decisions on their behalf. They explain that they believe in equality, and that a man shouldn't lead the woman. Then they justify their stance by explaining that they really are better at leadership than their husbands are, that they are more intelligent, more confident, more... in effect, these ladies justify why THEY (and not their husbands) are the boss in the home.
What scares the average woman when she thinks of trying to explore a more traditional marriage? Do your own poll amongst the ladies you know. You may be amazed to hear the reasons that many women cling to. Below is a short list of some of the fears that evidence themselves as a resistance to becoming submissive in a marriage.
It is believed that if you are a submissive wife, then:
1. You will not be allowed to think for yourself. You will never make any decisions in your marriage, and your ideas will always be disregarded.
2. You will forfeit your freedom and be told by your husband what to do and when to do it for the rest of your married life. Your life will be scheduled for you, as it once was when you were a toddler.
3. You will eventually lose the physical ability to think and decide for yourself, leaving yourself vulnerable and incapable of looking after yourself should your husband leave you through death or divorce.
4. You will be required to obey any command your husband gives, even if you disagree or fear that the command will compromise your safety.
5. You will be punished for disobeying your husband, and he will have full control (within the bounds of the law) over the punishment he chooses to administer. He can ground you, keep you from talking to your family and friends, limit your time on the internet, or give you extra chores to do. He can even spank your naked bottom if he so chooses.
6.  You will end up doing all the chores in the house, while your husband will lie on the couch and issue orders. In essence, you will become a maid who cooks and cleans and serves your husband.
7. You will not be allowed to have or express an opinion. You will only be allowed to express your husband's opinion (if he allows you to speak).
8. You will have to suppress your real self in order to become the woman your husband expects you to be. Your whole personality will change, and it will be especially traumatic for high-spirited, strong-willed women who don't naturally lean towards submission.
9. You will be ridiculed by other women for being weak and easily manipulated by a man. Other people judge us by the roles we take on, and submissive wives are judged as being weak and unable to function without a man to tell her what to do.
10. You will learn to hate your marriage and your husband. Feeling trapped and unfulfilled are part of the life of a submissive wife.


  1. I think for me, it was a matter of understanding where my strength came from. I don't think I feared many of the above things, though #8 and #9 are right there on the edge. When you can see your strength through the submission and realize that you are more your true self and therefore stronger, it's so much easier.

    Does that make sense?

    1. Thanks for sharing your perspective, Susie. The given list is just a start, and probably just the tip of the iceberg, when it comes to figuring out why many women are hesitant to opt for an old fashioned marriage. We're exploring the topic, and always appreciate when readers take the time to add their insights and comments. Thanks for doing that. Yes, it all looks very different when you see yourself as submission reveals you to be, and you come to understand why submission brings out the best in a wife. But to reach that understanding, a woman first has to get past whatever is keeping her from choosing submission.

  2. Numbers 1 and 7 sound kind of like me already, even though I'm not married. I hate decision-making and loathe having to have an opinion on anything. I would be the perfect wife; but, so far, no man has proposed marriage.

    As far as no. 8, I have suppressed my real self most of my life. I would fit right in here.