03 September 2012

Is Marital Spanking the Answer?

Proponents of domestic discipline swear by it. Liberated women and modern men despise it. Some say its just BSDM under a new label. Others scream "abuse". Mention "marital spanking" to some, and their jaws will drop in utter disbelief. Still others say spanking is humiliating and unfit for your naughty, disrespectful child, let alone your marriage equal. But few can deny that when loving marital spanking is part of a marriage, the marriage somehow seems better able to weather the inevitable storms that rip other marriages apart. How can something as simple as a spanking affect the integrity and stability of a marriage?

Let's start unwrapping marital spanking by looking at what marital spanking is not. It is not an excuse for one spouse to beat up on the other. It is not the playground for a husband with a bad temper who lacks self-control and needs to vent by hurting his spouse. It is NOT a form of physical abuse, and should never be confused with physical abuse. It is not a vehicle to communicate emotional abuse. It is not a mechanism to degrade or humiliate the wife. When done correctly, most marital spankings will hurt, but will not cause harm. Marital spanking is not exclusively sexual, although it can certainly enrich a couple's sex life.

In old-fashioned, marital spanking, the role of the spanker and spankee are not considered interchangeable. The kind of marital spanking that was practised in the time of your grandparents would have had sexual perks, but no-one would have thought of it as kinky or sexual. It would have been functional first, and"fun" might follow, but it wasn't primarily about having fun. The spanking roles would have been clear: the role of spanker belonged to the husband, while the wife inevitably landed the role of the spankee (the one who gets spanked). Today, those domestic discipline roles are not gender-specific as they once were. There are certainly couples where the wife disciplines and the husband bends to accept the sting of the paddle, but these relationships are not the topic for discussion here.

So can marital spanking really iron out the wrinkles in a modern marriage? It would be naive to assume that a couple of swats across a bare bottom could make all the problems in a marriage magically disappear. But it would be just as naive to disregard marital spanking as a legitimate way to reduce tension in the home, and help the couple settle into a harmonious way of living. If experiences of yesteryear can be trusted, then marital spanking certainly presents good odds in favor of a healthy marriage.

How does marital spanking help produce harmony in a relationship? You may have noticed that we haven't satisfactorily answered that question in the above paragraphs. We have grappled with what marital spanking is and what it looks like, but we haven't begun to make sense of how it works. We have come to understand that marital spanking has the capacity to deeply enrich and stabilize a marriage. We understand that at the heart of this achievement is the fact that marital spanking is a form of effective communication quite unlike any other used in marriage. But how does marital spanking do what the old folk claim it does? This blog is a journey into old marriage secrets. It allows us (and our readers) to map the journey as we discover and explore new ideas. To learn more about marital spanking, and how and why it works, join us on this journey. You can subscribe to this blog using your email address, and new posts will be delivered directly to your inbox ensuring you don't get left behind as the exploration continues.


  1. I spank my wife when it is necessary. When we married, we agreed that I would be the leader in our marriage, and that I would decide how to deal with issues of disrespect and disobedience. I don't need to spank often for these offenses, and it's not all that pleasant an experience for either of us. But we also don't have constant bickering and arguments that raise our stress levels. I'd say that a fair price to pay for a peaceful home.

    1. Thanks, Rob1219. Yes, the one thing that marital spanking seems to be most closely associated with is a peaceful relationship and home.

  2. We decided to include spanking in our marriage. At first it was terribly awkward and we weren't sure if it was right for us. We stuck to it and now its a great way to kill tension in the home. After a spanking, my husband and I find it easier to talk about whatever was causing the tension.