Does an In-charge Husband Inspire His Wife’s Submission?

A husband who takes charge calls out the femininity in his wife. His confident leadership make space for his wife to invest effort in being the nurturer and the home-maker, roles historically associated with the feminine gender. By taking the lead, the husband widens the gap between masculinity and femininity in the marriage. (Without this gap, there is no sexual chemistry in marriage.)

As the husband leads and actively moves to protect and provide for his family, his actions are instinctively interpreted as masculine by his wife. The more the husband adopts an in-charge stance in the marriage and home, the more his masculinity becomes evident to his wife. As she senses an apparent growth in his masculinity (apparent since it was always there, but his wife wasn’t noticing it any more), she finds him more attractive, “different”, and easier to respect. As her respect for him begins to flow more readily, her husband is in turn encouraged to lead more aggressively and begins to sense the submission evidenced by his wife’s respect for him. The wife’s submission feeds the husband’s authority, the growth of which inspires a deepening of the submission in the wife.

The author of an article on Taken in Hand puts it this way: "...being under a man's authority is about retaining our awareness of one another as being different from each other. It is about being aware of myself as a woman, and being aware of the man as being a man rather than sexless/unisex. It is about being true to myself as a woman with a desire to be with a man who needs to be in control in an intimate relationship...”