Why do so many wives end up as the unofficial head of their homes? I believe that the general answer is because the wives are doing what needs to be done.
The husband is the God-appointed leader of the marriage (See Ephesians 5:23 "For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body."). The husband has the authority to lead, even if he doesn't feel like he is qualified for the job.
The wife doesn't possess the husband's authority, but that doesn't mean she cannot or will not lead. If the husband fails to step up to the challenge of leadership, the position of leader begs to be filled. In the same way that the husband is appointed the leader of the marriage, the wife is by default appointed the second-in-command. If the commander fails to report for duty, it falls on the shoulders of the second-in-command to take up the reins.
Why are the women leading their homes? Quite simply because the men do not.
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