How Does the Husband Take Control of His Marriage?

When you are ready to change, the first step is both the most difficult and the easiest to take. What is this first step? You have to start with the simple act of communication. Some folks can talk the hind leg off a donkey and don't struggle to share their thoughts and feeling. Unfortunately, many couples battle with making themselves vulnerable before their marriage partners. Whether you are talkative or shy, this change in your marriage has to start with communication.

Husbands, tell you wives about the kind of marriage you have dreamed of. Explain how you want to take a more pronounced lead in the marriage, but are afraid to make a mistake that might hurt your family. Share with your wife why you think a traditional marriage (where you lead and she follows) will be a better option for both of you. Explain why you want the change without blaming the need for it on your wife. Focus what you say on what you desire for your marriage and for your wife's happiness. This change has to be better for your wife and for your marriage or it will be selfish and doomed to die an ugly death that leaves you both frustrated and disappointed.

Wives, tell your husbands how you long for a marriage filled with peace, a marriage where he takes an active leadership role. Explain how you want to respect and submit to him, but are not sure how to do that. Ask him for his help in transforming you into a confident, submissive wife. Ask him what you can do to help him feel more comfortable as leader of your marriage. Avoid complaining about how he isn't very good at leading. Don't point out that you do a better job of running your home. This change is intended to produce more peace and fulfillment in your marriage, but that is an unlikely result if you belittle your husband from the start.

If you find that you get tongue-tied when it comes to sharing such deep and intimate thoughts, prepare for the discussion. Make notes like you did when you were at school. Write your ideas on paper, then make a date to have coffee with your spouse and take time to share what you wrote down. If the thought of a face-to-face chat makes you nervous, put your ideas in an email or make a date to have an instant messenger chat with your spouse. Find a way to communicate that doesn't give you stage fright and share your dreams and desires for your marriage. Do not share criticisms about your spouse. If your spouse realizes that a traditional marriage is important to you, you will have opened the door to further exploration of the topic.