01 January 2013

Do Life Differently

A new year is upon us. The thrill of the hunt for new adventures is calling us out. There is anticipation. Excitement. A little holding of our breath as we allow ourselves to dream big and consider the possibilities. Anything could happen.
 
And then it descends. That dark cloud of doubt. We remember. We remember standing on the brink of all those new years that have gone before. We remember the excitement and the anticipation. And we remember what followed. Nothing, but the same old same old.
 
So what will be different this year? Anything? Something? Isn't it a waste to burn energy on excitement? Isn't hope a little pointless? Aren't we just setting ourselves up for disappointment if we expect this year to be any better than last year?
 
As humans, we have access to two things that make life nothing short of remarkable: hope, and the capacity for change. We can tap into both of those elements right now, and our excitement and enthusiasm for a great year does not have to be short-lived. Our lives are not scripted. We are not born to be failures or quitters. We are not destined to have a miserable marriage, because that's how it was for our parents. We can hope for a more fulfilling marriage, a more peaceful home, and a better tomorrow. We can change. We can choose to do what it takes to to build our marriage into something fruitful and strong. We can choose to love our marriage partner even when our experience says it won't make a difference. We can choose to have a home filled with harmony when it has been a war zone in the past. We can live better this year than we did last year.
 
Want a better year this year? Do something different. Make the change you know you need to make. Eat less. Exercise more. Have more sex with your spouse. Seek intimacy with your spouse on a daily basis. Husbands, take authority in your homes. Wives, submit graciously to your husbands. Stop arguing. Start communicating. Share with your spouse. Share some more. Don't go to bed angry. Touch each other. Compliment each other. Hold hands in public. Hold hands while you watch TV. Cook meals together. Eat those meals together. Share even more.
 
Want a better year this year? Do life differently this year. If you repeat the mistakes of last year, you will reap the same results as you did last year. So change. And anticipate good things. Don't squash your hope for a better marriage.
 
Happy new year to all our readers! May the new year present you with many opportunities to grow as a couple, and may you always have the courage to grab those opportunities with gusto.

14 comments:

  1. Great post, OFM. I just gave similar advice to a friend tonight...God gives us tools and opportunities, He expects us to do some work to prove our desire.

    Ward and I both came from difficult pasts and it would have been easy to not even try...I'm glad we did because it's beyond my wildest hopes and dreams. He says the same.

    And you won't see us anywhere on the couch, in the kitchen, at the store, snuggled before we fall asleep...that our fingers are not woven together...it's integral, that touch, that connection.

    Happy New Year, OFM, brightest blessings for 2013!

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    1. Thanks, June. I agree - it is easy to "not try". Excuses are an integral part of our modern society, and it takes no effort to go down that road. But for those (like you and Ward) with the courage to invest a little effort in your marriage... wow! The returns are amazing. And the funny thing is that a lot of that "effort" really isn't much effort at all: like holding hands. Thanks for keeping us all aware of how important small acts of intimacy are - we look forward to more of your posts this year. Happy new year to you and your family.

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  2. Happy new year, OFM! I do find myself full of hope. Have a fine year—I look forward to your upcoming posts.

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    1. Thank you, Kevan. It's great to hear that you are hopeful. It's hard to anticipate good things when we undervalue hope. I, too, am looking forward to a great year, and more of your posts. May 2013 be your best year ever!

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  3. What an inspiring post. I will more than likely come back to this one a few times over the months ahead. The message is simple. Easy to do. And will reap many rewards. I love it. Thank you for sharing it.

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    1. Thank you, Jacquie. Sometimes we over-complicate things. Keeping it simple is a great way to enjoy the year. May 2013 be a blessed year for you and your family.

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  4. This is a wonderful, inspiring message for the new year. I am going to take it to heart. This time last year, I was treating my husband with continual disrespect and his affection for me was waning because of it. Now a year later, we are in love and happy, our lives are full and erotic. So much can change in the space of a year, and it starts with the simplest of beginnings - a desire to change.
    Thanks for this message
    hugs
    lillie

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    1. Thank you, Lillie, and a happy new year to you and Ian. Change can happen quickly, and a mediocre relationship can evolve into something amazing through a series of simple choices. Let's keep choosing a marriage that won't settle for average.

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  5. Anonymous9/1/13 23:56

    Wonderful post. At times I struggle staying in my place due to my husbands reluctance of leading. Direction from posts such as this give me the ambition to be submissive to encourage his leadership. When I feel Im not alone in my submission, it keeps me focused on my role. Thank you.

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    1. Thank you. Isn't it wonderful how we don't need to wait for our partner to make the first move towards an awesome marriage? Wives can choose to take the first step to submit graciously to their husbands, or husbands can take the first step with an act of leadership. And we can keep taking little steps, moving forward day by day. And yes, we are not alone. All over the world, husbands and wives are choosing to do what it takes to have a wonderful marriage. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us.

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  6. Hi OFM - we've nominated you for The Very Inspiring Blogger Award. All the details and requirements are on our blog. We'd be honored if you would participate.

    Many thanks,
    Ward & June

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