24 December 2012
We wish you a blessed Christmas.
May your Christmas be filled with laughter.
May it overflow with kindness.
May examples of generosity be set for all who watch.
May your Christmas be marked by peace.
May you set your differences aside and listen.
May you reclaim opportunities to demonstrate your love for your spouse.
May this Christmas be a time you will want to remember.
May gratitude and selflessness saturate all that leaves your lips.
May this Christmas be your best one yet!
17 December 2012
Husbands can play a big role in soothing the stressful countdown to Christmas. In fact, I would go as far as saying it is their responsibility to ensure a stress overload does not occur. Unchecked stress can spill over into the home and create an environment that is hostile and prone to dampen any holiday cheer.
So what is a husband to do to help his wife unwind when tensions mount?
As the husband, you simply need to play the role of Santa. Does that require the obligatory red suit, white beard, and big belly? No, although many men who have weathered a few Christmas seasons seem to already acquired the belly. What you need most is the heart of a Santa. You must want to give something good to your wife. And then you need to actually progress beyond that desire. You need to give that good gift to her.
And what might that good "something" be? Being old fashioned in my ways, I cannot help but suggest the gift of a good, old fashioned spanking, of course.
Now, you will have to make a few changes to the way you might play the role of Santa at the shopping mall or at your church Christmas party. No, your wife won't be sitting on your knee and whispering her secret desires into your ear. You will confidently put her over your knee with her bottom raised high. She may protest a little (especially if you waited too long to put your idea into action) - assure her that she is not being punished. You will let her know that you appreciate all she is doing to make your family's celebration wonderful, and that you want to help her relax after all her efforts. You will rub her back, and caress her bottom, and let her talk some of her tension away. And then you will spank the rest away.
Bare her bottom. Start slowly. Be gentle, but firm. This is not a punishment. You are helping your wife relax. Spank lightly until her skin shows some color. Spank harder, but continue to spank slowly. Take your time. Treat this the same way you would treat a sensual massage. If your wife is tolerant of harder spankings, introduce a favorite implement like a wooden spoon or a light paddle. Talk to your wife as you spank her. Express your appreciation. Remind her that you love her. Tell her how much you enjoy helping her relax. And watch her body language. The back and thigh muscles lock in tension. As the spanking encourages tension release, you should see your wife's back and thighs relax. Ask questions. Listen to her voice. Use the tension in her voice and the tightness of her muscles as an indicator of when to stop spanking. A long, relaxing spanking should leave your wife comfortably draped across your lap with her bare bottom tender and blushed a deep red. Some women release tension with tears, so don't be afraid of seeing your wife cry. Finish the spanking with gentle caressing and an unrushed cuddle.
Give your wife the gift of stress-relieving and tension-busting spankings this Christmas. Spank generously and spank often throughout the season, and you probably won't need to go spoil the fun with any unpleasant disciplinary action. Choose to fill your home with peace and harmony this Christmas. Make it a place everyone wants to be. Make the effort to match your wife's bare bottom to Santa's suit, and you will help create a Christmas experience (and perhaps a tradition) that your wife will enjoy as much as you do.
15 December 2012
Previously, following on our discussion of Christmas gifts for your spouse when your budget is tight, we shared some of our favorite inexpensive, gift ideas that a wife can use for giving a gift to her husband. This post is devoted to inexpensive and thoughtful gifts a husband can give his wife. There is no reason to skip gift-giving this year simply because your wallet is empty. Bless your wife with a gift that communicates your love and appreciation for her, without creating debt in the process.
For the wife who is on her feet all day: Use colored card reclaimed from cereal boxes or other sources to create foot massage vouchers. (Obviously, you (the husband) will be giving these wonderful foot massages, so prepare yourself to pamper your sweetheart.) Set an expiry date on each voucher so your wife will be encouraged to cash in her special treats at regular intervals.
For the wife who loves photographs: Capture a special moment on camera when your wife isn't aware that she is the focal point. If you don't have an eye for taking pictures, ask a friend or your child to snap some pictures of you and your wife when you are in public. Make sure you select a picture that is particularly flattering to your wife. Give it some old world charm by having it printed in black and white or sepia tone - your local pharmacy charges pennies for a small print. Spend an extra dollar on a frame that matches the picture (your local dollar store should have a selection of small frames).
For the wife who isn't on a diet: Purchase your wife's favorite candy bar. Carefully unwrap it without ripping the wrapper. Hand-write a love letter to your wife, fold it to match the size of the candy bar, and insert the letter (together with the candy bar) into the undamaged wrapper. Carefully seal the wrapper, and wrap the candy bar in some pretty paper.
For the wife who likes to reminisce: Fill a small booklet with reprints or photocopies of your wife's favorite photographs. Your wedding, your honeymoon, the birth of your children, and family vacations all make good photo sources. This is about creating more than another photo album, so make sure you add your memories (positive memories only) associated with the pictures by writing comments alongside the pictures. Tell your wife what you were thinking when the photo was taken, or what the picture reminds you of.
For the wife who likes to play games: Create your own intimate card game. Start with cutting a set of flash cards from scrap cardboard. On each card, write a word that means something special to you as a couple. Create your own rules for your word-association game and include these rules when you package your cards. When designing your game rules, remember that whatever you do with your cards should be fun for both of you, and should encourage intimacy.
For the wife who enjoys being spanked: Create a set of 10 to 20 stress-relief and/or playful spanking vouchers. Use colorful card recycled from junk mail for the vouchers, or print the vouchers on your home printer. You may not always be aware when your wife needs or wants a spanking, so these vouchers will help her get what she needs when she needs it. They work well for couples where the wife struggles to ask for a spanking or the husband is not particularly observant and aware of his wife's needs. All the wife needs to do is present her husband with a spanking voucher, and he should provide her with a spanking within 24 hours.
For the wife who does most of the housework herself: Running a home is hard work - make no mistake about it. And it is even harder when you cannot afford outside help and must repeat the same household tasks day after day without a break. Give your wife the gift of a small break from routine when she needs it most. Create a handful of simple housework vouchers (at least 20 - be generous) e.g. washing supper dishes, vacuuming the lounge floor, scrubbing the bath. These vouchers will encourage a wife who is uncomfortable asking for help (especially if her husband typically comes home tired from work) to express when she feels overwhelmed. She can express what she feels by simply returning a voucher to her husband - she doesn't have to speak about how she feels if she is not ready to do that. The husband's responsibility is to jump in and complete the task on the voucher he is given. This task will probably only take him a few minutes, but will give his wife a much-needed break from the monotony of repetitive housework.
For the wife who deserves, but avoids, the spotlight: Some wives work tirelessly to make their homes a wonderful place to be. Often, the efforts of these amazing women go unnoticed, and yet it doesn't seem to deter them. This Christmas, you can shine the spotlight on your wife and give a gift of 30 days of uninterrupted recognition. Write 30 short letters to your wife. Each letter need be only a paragraph long and should express your appreciation for one aspect of who she is, or what she does for you and your family. You can make those letters even more special by taking a trip to a local department store. Stop by the fragrance counters and ask the sales assistants if you may spray a little perfume from the tester bottles onto a sheet of paper. It may take some time to collect 30 different fragrance samples on your letter papers, so aim for 5 or 6 different fragrances that you think your wife would enjoy. Seal the letters in 30 envelopes, and write the number 1 to 30 on the envelopes. Present the set of envelopes with instructions that your wife is to open one envelope every day for a month.
For the wife who enjoys complex gifts and problem-solving challenges: Create your own treasure capsule. To do this, blend the ideas of a time capsule with a treasure chest. Cover a recycled box with pretty paper. Collect a variety of small items that you can directly link to experiences you have shared with your wife. The complete collection should fit in the box. For example, if you honeymooned at the coast, a seashell might represent this experience. If your first child is a boy, perhaps a blue baby comb might trigger a memory of his birth. Include a challenge to your wife to get her thinking about what each item represents, and the promise of a date night when you will explain what each of those items mean to you.
For the wife who is struggling with being submissive: Provide one "get out of (spanking) jail FREE" card. This card should include your sincere promise to exempt your wife from one corrective or discipline spanking that would usually result from breaking a house rule. You reserve the right to substitute some other form of punishment in the place of a spanking. Make this card valid for one year.
Husbands, feel free to add your own ideas for low- or no-cost gifts for your wife in the comment section below. Wives, if you have received an inexpensive, creative gift from your husband, please do share it with our other readers. Many folk have had a tough financial year, and could benefit from hearing that great gift-giving has little to do with the money in your wallet.
14 December 2012
In a previous post, "Taking My Spouse Off the Gift List", we described how to stimulate ideas for giving inexpensive gifts. We also promised to share some of our own gift ideas, so this is the first of two posts that fulfills that promise. This post will provide the wife's perspective and hopefully give other wives who read this ideas on how to turn low-cost or no-cost items into fun gifts for their husbands. The added bonus is that these gifts also serve to enrich the marriage by encouraging communication and sensual/sexual play.
For the DIY husband: find a hard wood plank (12 to 18 inches long) and draw the outline of a paddle on it (sometimes lumber yards and wood shops throw away scrap wood, so don't be afraid to ask). If your budget allows for it, use sheets of sandpaper as gift-wrapping - the gift-wrap is a practical part of the gift and will smooth the way to a splinter-free spanked bottom.
For the husband who enjoys words and surprises: fill 52 small envelopes with notelets that begin with "I love you because...". Wrap the 52 envelopes together with instructions on when to open each envelope. This is a gift that can be stretched out over a full year, if the recipient opens one envelope a week.
For the husband who takes command of the kitchen: write your (wife's) wedding vows in the bowl of a wooden spoon using a permanent, fine-tipped marker. Your husband will know what to do with the wooden spoon if you start stirring up trouble in the home. And even if you are good, the spoon can provide many fun spankings for years to come.
For the sensual husband: Cut 11 strips from scrap (colored) card. (Use paper if you have no card.) On each of ten card strips, write down one of your husband's favorite sensual experiences and an expiry date that falls within the next year. For example, if your husband enjoys you touching his feet, one card might include "oily foot massage" and "expires on 31 January 2013". Use the eleventh card to explain how to use the coupon booklet you have created. Staple the cards together with the instructions on top.
For the husband who finds it hard to talk about his desires: Decorate the cover of an inexpensive "composition book" (the lined exercise books that school students use for note-taking) with your own art, photographs, pictures from magazines, favourite verses of poetry, or any other items that represent beautiful experiences. Use the first page of this "desire journal" to explain how to use it i.e. stress that the husband's desires can be expressed by recording his dreams, describing his fantasies, or simply illustrating those fantasies with sketches. Explain that you (the wife) would love to read his desire journal if he ever wants to share it with you. This journal is a great way to open up discussions that some people are shy to start.
For the husband with a sweet tooth: Home-baked cookies (or candies) never fail to sweeten up the hubby. Decorate a recycled chocolate box with your favorite images, poems, or inspirational quotes, and use it as a presentation box for your goodies. If you are working with your husband to encourage portion control, individually wrap each cookie or candy, and attach a little love note to each tiny package.
For the husband who likes to read: Purchase an inexpensive blank-paged, pocket-sized booklet (small enough to fit into your husband's shirt pocket). Fill the booklet with expressions of gratitude - thank your husband for the little things that often go unrecognized. Everyone likes to feel appreciated, and this little booklet will provide many years of encouragement for your husband - he can carry it with him to work or on business trips, or just open it when he needs to be reminded that his wife notices all he does for her and the family.
For the husband who is sexually adventurous: Make a home-made sensual exploration kit. Include items like feathers, velvet cloth, satin cloth, a soft hairbrush, a comb, etc.
For the husband who enjoys gardening: Purchase a small packet of seeds (suitable for planting in your zone) - some seed packages cost less than a dollar. Include a hand-written written promise to be part of the seed planting exercise. Getting dirty together can be the start of a lot of clean-up fun.
For the husband who likes reminders: Create a WILL KNOT. All you need is a short length of rope or twine (natural fiber works best). Make a knot in the rope. Package the knotted rope in a decorated, recycled box with a note explaining what it is. The WILL KNOT is your husband's reminder that you have chosen to be submissive to him, and are working hard at your commitment, even when things get a little off-track. The WILL KNOT is his reminder that you WILL NOT give up on your commitment.
Feel free to add your own inexpensive gifts ideas for husbands in the comments section below. Creative, home-styled gifting isn't only for the cash-strapped - it is a great way for all of us to exercise our creative natures and give the kind of gifts that make a difference.
13 December 2012
Parents usually make the effort to ensure their children have presents at Christmas, but when money is a problem, the spouse is one of the first to fall by the gifting wayside. It is tempting to justify taking our spouse off the gift list. After all, they are well aware that the budget simply cannot stretch any further. They will understand that a gift is unaffordable, won’t they?
There is a way to keep your partner on the gift list, even if your budget screams in rebellion. The most precious gifts I have received did not come from the mall. They weren’t bought online either. They didn’t cost an arm and a leg, or even just a finger. Some cost only pennies. Most did take an investment of time on the part of the giver. However, not all of my precious gifts demanded a lot of time of the giver - some just needed a fresh perspective and a dash of creativity.
What if you don’t feel creative, and like most of us don’t have hours to sit around and dig deep until the creative juices flow?
The good news is that you can make this happen with a few minutes of "thinking" time, and a little longer of "doing" time. Make yourself a cup of tea or coffee, pick up a pen and paper, and prepare for an out-of-the-box experience. Without giving it too much thought, brainstorm a list of words that describe what your spouse enjoys most. You can stop when you have ten words or phrases. For example, your list may look something like this:
My wife enjoys.... (1) reading, (2) doing puzzles, (3) telling jokes, (4) baking, (5) dancing, (6) watching old war movies, (7) sucking lollipops, (8) gardening, (9) the smell of sun-dried linen, (10) jogging.
My husband enjoys... (1) fishing, (2) sex, (3) walking the dog, (4) watching sports, (5) photography, (6) surprises, (7) wearing yellow shirts, (8) gardening, (9) swimming, (10) writing poetry.
Now make a second list by brainstorming things you can DO (not buy) to provide for your partner’s enjoyment. For example, next to “My wife enjoys (1) reading and (8) gardening,” you could put “hand write a love letter to my wife, and seal it in an envelope filled with petals from her favorite wild flowers”. Next to “My husband enjoys (8) fishing,” you could write “search online and find the tide charts for the next 52 weekends; cut and paste the charts, leaving space for recording catches, into a document and print this document in booklet format; make a colorful cover for the booklet using a local outdoor store's sales brochure”.
With a few minutes of effort, you will discover that you can give your husband or wife a delightful gift that will cost little or nothing. In the next couple of posts, we will include some of our own gifting brainstorms, so you can see how easy it is to stretch your imagination beyond the obvious.
This year, challenge yourself to think outside the box when it comes to spousal gift-giving on a tiny budget. Don’t use the lack of money as an excuse for not giving your husband or wife a gift this Christmas. Rather, use it as the motivation for giving a thoughtful gift to your soul mate and best friend. Forget about a trip to the busy mall. Forget about shopping online for those discounted deals. Just invest a little of yourself in your gift. No-one knows your spouse better than you do. Who better to give him or her a truly creative and perfectly suited gift than you?