05 September 2012

No Time to Spank

Does it sometimes feel like your days are getting shorter? In years gone by, I remember that is what the older folk would grumble about. They would say how it seemed that there was less time in a day, and then they blamed it all on modern technology for stealing the time from them. They may well have been right about the time being stolen (although we won't try to track down the thief right now). If people were feeling the pressure fifty years ago, imagine how time-challenged we are today. Almost everyone I have met (young people, too) now suffers from a Time-Deficient Disorder.

How does the apparent shortage of time influence the peace in the home? No longer do families sit down together and enjoy a meal at the table at least once a day. Couples don't chat about their hopes and dreams as they once did when they were courting. Sex is rushed - its all about getting to the destination quickly to make time to do more important things. Romantic dinners are interrupted by calls on the cell phone. Leisurely walks in the park, holding hands, are replaced by individual power sessions at the gym where your ears are plugged closed with your own choice of music - no room for sharing the tunes you love. The very activities that fostered healthy communication are gradually being erased from our lifestyles and homes. And as those activities disappear so does the health of the marriage and the family life.

In the endless rushing from one deadline to the next, even couples in old fashioned marriages get caught up in the whirlwind of mindless activity. The demands of work, children, and even selfless activities like community service or church volunteering, start to distract the husband and wife from their commitment to their roles in the marriage. Obviously, work, family, and others that we serve are important. It makes sense to include them in our lives, but how easily do we overcommit our time and at what price? Will the endless hurry and pursuit of work deadlines and the striving to give the children everything we think they should have be enough to satisfy us when the marriage falls apart?

As our days seem to get shorter, we are forced to cut some things to make space for others that we perceive as more important. Sadly, the one element that gets trimmed first is basic communication with those we love. After all, they understand us already so this is the safest place to trim our commitments. We convince ourselves that we won't lose much if we make the cut-backs at home. Everyone will understand. Perhaps our loved ones can't yet read our minds, but we trust them to understand our body language, our mumbles and grunts, and the half sentences we throw their way as we rush to answer the cell phone.
Husbands who once spanked stop spanking their wives, despite knowing this form of communication enriches the marriage. Their excuse? It takes too long and it is tiring at the end of a stressful day at work. Wives avoid spankings, even when the husband makes time for it. Their excuse? They are exhausted and they still have loads of tasks to complete before bed time. They argue that a spanking can wait until there is more time. But can it? Can communication between a husband and wife really wait until everything else has been taken care of? Shouldn't taking care of each other be the first priority? Should a wife not put her husband and the health of her relationship with him before the laundry, and the kids' homework, and her career? Should the husband not put his wife first, remembering that all his hard work is intended to build a better life for their family? What is the point of all the long work hours and mountains of money  earned if you don't have someone you love to share it with?

Is there really no time to share a cup of coffee with your wife (with the television switched off), to read a few pages of your favorite book to your wife, to put her over your knee and spank her until she remembers that you are the head of the home? Is there really no time to write your husband a little love note and slip it into his coat pocket as he leaves for work? Is there really no time to listen to his ranting about his job, to do the little things he has asked you to do, to let him think long enough to confidently make his decisions without getting impatient and telling him how to think and what to do? What will you do in the next 24 hours to enrich your marriage and invest in your future?


  1. Sometimes life does seem overwhelmingly busy, but I always try to make time for my wife. She does the same for me. Mostly we just try to get alone and talk so we don't lose track of what is happening in each other's life. I don't think people talk enough now... too much texting and facebooking, and not enough of good old talking.

  2. Thanks for your comment, Rob1219. It sounds like you are doing a good job of investing in your marriage.

  3. When my husband gets too busy at work, he becomes distracted from everything going on at home. When that happens, we usually end up arguing a lot. I feel like he avoids making decisions in the home, and he thinks I am trying to take over his role as head of the home. I try to be supportive during this rough patches, but its not so easy to remain submissive when things need to get done around the house, if you know what I mean.

    1. Thanks for sharing, Jenny. You raised an important point. What are wives who want to be submissive supposed to do while the men are too busy to take their leadership role seriously? That is something we will explore further on this blog.